What you already knew

This isn't my first blog, it's surely not going to be my last. I stopped using my last blog because I was done with that part of my life, I was done with all the angst and anxiety that comes with being lost. So I found myself, it took a year of hard work, I joined AmeriCorps, worked 60 hours a week, left my roommates and became a bit reclusive.
The problem with all of these moves is that while I feel as though I've discovered myself and what makes me happy, I'm struggling with my values. I don't read much anymore, that was the first thing I lost to school this time around. I'm ok with that though, I read enough interesting things for my classes. It was when I realized that I didn't really have time for friends that I felt like things were a bit out of control. School's something that's never come naturally to me, I didn't start reading until the third grade...it wasn't that I couldn't; I just didn't like Doctor Seuss, my first book was about The Titanic and I read it over and over again. My school career always went something like that, I was given a task, I ignored it and did what I thought made sense.
Anyways I digress, homework is what this is about. I can't focus on the stuff, there's always something else to do, my house is always messy because I'm busy trying to do other things. So I schedule twice the time I need to do homework in order to compensate for my difficulties buckling down and getting the things I need to do done. Consequently I haven't had time to spend with my friends, who seemingly are dwindling in number.
So here I am now, it's the summer I'm working 10 hours each day, it goes something like this: 7:30-11:30 work in my cubicle at my awful office job with two co-workers who drive me nuts, 11:30-1pm walk across the street, volunteer in a psychology lab having to do with stress and anxiety, 1pm-5pm work in a research lab on campus having to do with depression. By the time I bus home it's 5:30pm and I'm a bit exhausted. There's more to do though, my goals this summer are to study enough to do well on the GRE's, write my essays for grad school, and possibly get some reading done.
So much for maintaining friendships, the question is...is it worth it? I can't say I know the answer, and that hurts, I hate losing something for no reason. Maybe someday I'll be able to look back on this and be able to say this was right, I needed to do that. Right now I think of what I'm losing, what bridges I've burned, and the fear of what if I don't get into grad school. The worst part of it is I don't feel like there's anyone I can really vent to, so I internalize it.
I'll try to make this a little more interesting in the future, right now I'm tired, and I have to work in the morning.